Pen and Paper

I’ve had this blog since 2012. I started it when I was 21-22ish. I have always loved writing. Unraveling myself through, it as I mention in this about me I wrote all those years ago.  Im 32-33ish as I write this now. I I have lived a lot of life since then. I mean ten years. Idk whether that’s a lot or not. Im no wiser, actually sometimes I really do think I had more figured out back then. Less inhibiting me. More bravery. Less to lose in some ways. I still write, for myself mostly but I still love it and need it and have to do it in order to be a person in this world that isn’t locked away in an asylum, although sometimes doesn’t that sound nice? Knowing what to expect, boundaries, rituals, routines. Bedtimes. That’s the little cult girl in me though. I love clarity. The first time I read “clear is kind, unclear is unkind.” Maybe on Adam grants Instagram, I latched onto that phrase with a ferocity. I’ve repeated it to my husband and coworkers incessantly. Clear roles and expectations is my porn. Tell me what kind of girl you want me to be and I’ll be her. I thought about wiping my slate clean and starting a Substack because that’s all the rage amongst the celebs. But im not a celeb, just a lady with a ten year old word press blog and a sentimentality that won’t let me let this one go. So sure browse my old posts, come to what ever conclusions you wish to. To be embarrassed of my becoming wouldn’t be fair. I love her, the person who created those words and helped bring me to the very place im in today. She’s sweet and sure and so brave. Im thankful for her and all her revelations. But this is my new about me. I still write how I talk which is with no punctuation or very wrong punctuation. But I do hope sharing myself through this blog will still bring freedom to another hopeful soul out there. I love anyone who decides to click on this little thing and read my rambling words.

All my love, always. 

Shelby 

Old about me that I can’t seem to delete….because I love her so much.

“I’m learning to let myself unravel. It’s messy. Sometimes I’m falling apart and others I feel so full of gratitude it brings me to a humble place of praise. None of it makes sense or seems right. It’s all a work in progress. I’m in a learning curve called life. I only hope help freedom find its way to these pages, and the words in my heart to help release another searching soul to feel what they feel and know they are not alone. Reading and writing make me feel not so alone. I write how I talk mostly, and my words are not always danty and story like. But they are all true. This is all true. {Sit on the sidewalk and empty your pockets. Let yourself soak in the day and hear all the life around you.} (-Sabrina Ward Harrisons words summarized I think)”